Sunday, August 21, 2011

I Don't Understand

Having done this job off and on for over 30 years, I have heard of dispatchers committing suicide, but haven't been directly involved or know the person. Can't say that any more.

Having to say good bye to a person who was courteus and patient to citizens - professional to supervisors and senior officers - wonderful to co-workers - over the moon about her grandbabies - proud of her daughters and their achievements - well, it's really hard.

I fear we may never know just how much what we saw was a mask hiding her fears and pain.

To my sisters and brothers in dispatch - please please please look within yourself and decide if you need to remove your cheery mask and seek the help available. Our jobs are full of pain and trauma daily. Don't leave behind more for your co-workers.

Cause there are many of us sitting here right now weepy and hurt and angry and very confused. Blame game has started. Questions abound on why we didn't see the signs. Why didn't you see the signs? Didn't you know?

Hopefully friend you have found your peace that you needed. You will be missed.


911 and the Randomness.. said...

I'm very sorry dear dispatcher. I pray healing and solace will take the place of the blame game. In a suicide there's never any understanding.

And about your previous post, I have been asked the same, why don't you leave the job, and come up with the same answers you have. I've only been doing the job for 7 years. I can do nothing else with the same satisfaction.


leilani02 said...

Same thing just happened a few months ago at a agency not far from ours. Might even be the same one you are speaking of.